Monday, 31 March 2014

Searched all over... Can't find nobody

Hey loves,

So I'm having a bad morning. Why? Well I think anyone who couldn't find anything to wear because their clothes either don't fit at all or if they manage to get it on, make them look like a stuffed Italian sausage and quite frankly that's not really the look I'm going for.

As I walked to the bus I'm some what thankful it's still cold and I can hide my weight behind my jacket. I say somewhat because like my clothes my jacket is fitting too snug, smh. 

Anyways, as I walk I feel like calling someone to cry with and as I think about all my close friend not one of them struggle with being over weight. I then feel a feeling of desperation and settle for even a possible acquaintance--none. 

I am the only over weight one? Sadly enough, I am. How does this make me feel? I'm not sure right now, part if me finds this ridiculously funny, and part of me is okay with it. I know that just because I may be the biggest out of all my girlfriends, it doesn't mean they don't have issues with how their body looks or their health. Slim people fill up the gyms and doctors offices too. 

I just came to the realization that this is between me and me, and me and God. I need to do this alone if I want to get it done. I can't look for motivation outside of my own self because when those motivations die off what next? Even when I look within my own life my strength is strictly from The Lord. I've realize that a lot of my issues are dealt with food and not prayer. I need to tackle my unhappiness, frustrations, hurts and pains, knowing that God is more than able to heal me, strengthen me, and love me through it. 

So while I may not have a girlfriend to call and lement about my fat I do have my hope that soon and very soon I won't have any fat to even lement about! 

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